Tough weekend

I love writing "significant" things, but this is just a journal entry.  This weekend was tough.

The last two Saturday mornings, I am just not rolling out of bed as usual.  Kind of dragging.  I told Jim over my second cup of coffee "Either the radiation is beginning to get me, or I am just plain lazy."  Honestly, it could be either one.  I got virtually nothing done.  At least the sheets got changed, but half-finished chores are everywhere.

Then, Sunday morning I got up, took my first sip of coffee and my teeth were kind of sensitive.  Then, I noticed that my mouth felt a little raw.  Weird.  So, naturally, I Googled it, and it seems that at the end of the second week of radiation, you can get mouth sores.  Great.  So, I am even more serious about taking all the supplements Alex suggested.  I REALLY want to cruise through this.  (Probably unrealistic, but I would rather anticipate good things than sit around waiting for things to get tough.)

But, the real kicker of the weekend was when we went up to see Jim's mom in the new place she is in.  After her surgery last Sunday night, she was in the ICU for four days.  On Thursday afternoon, she was moved to a room, and Friday afternoon, they discharged her to go to a "rehab" center.  (Just as a side note - for those of you who don't know, I have worked in two in-patient facilities.  One was with adolescents in treatment for drugs and alcohol.  The other was a residential eating disorder center for women.  Having worked in a full-care facility, I know that no place is perfect, but there are some basic standards of care that should be met - in my humble opinion.)  I don't want to get in to all of it, but I was less than impressed.  She had no water cup and she could hardly talk she was so parched.  There is no way the nurses could hear her and she has Alzheimer's, so she doesn't know she has a call button.  Okay, that's enough.  There's more, but let's just wrap it up by saying it was a rough afternoon. 

I have to admit that when I am mad at the nursing staff, it is really hard to "see" them.  I would much rather strangle them!

The best part of the day was when Jim asked me to read an article to him while we drove up to Huntsville.  It was a Mars Hill interview with our favorite friend and mentor, Dr. James Houston.  Jim Houston Interview - 1996  Dr. Houston has taught us more about relating to God than anyone we have ever known.  (NOTE: Dr. Houston is the most loving human being I think I have ever been around.  If there is anyone that I want to be like when I "grow up," it is Jim.  BUT, he is also the most brilliant man I have ever been around.  I probably spent the first two years of our friendship only being able to understand about 1/10th of what he he said.  BUT, it was well worth the effort to just glean those little bits.  If you decide to follow this link, pat yourself on the back if you glean just one or two nuggets of wisdom.)

Here are a few of the quotes from the article:
Our society looks at people statistically, functionally, programmatically, instead of dealing with them personally. But the Good Shepherd knows each of his sheep by name. 

The limit to which one has self-understanding is the limit to which you can understand others. 

One of the other points that Jim Houston makes in this article is that an attitude of gratitude must be an essential part of our lives if we are to live life fully.  To have a heart of gratitude fills life with joy.  It also is the very opposite of living in fear and anxiety.  When the Proverbs say "A cheerful heart does good like a medicine" that is literally true.  For, one of the primary causes of the breakdown of our immune system (which is like opening the door to illness) is stress.  Stress is ultimately a mind-set.  It is a world view that anticipates the bad, not the good.

I think I want to write more about this later, but for tonight, I think it is enough to be challenged with what I can be grateful for.  AND to not consider myself helpless in my mother-in-law's situation, but to intercede for her before the Father.  He can do her more good than those nurses anyway!